Beyond Surviving
From My Son...My Son...A Guide to Healing After Death, Loss, or Suicide
by Iris Bolton
(Bolton Press, 1090 Crest Brook Lane, Roswell, GA 30075 - Phone: 770-645-1886.)
Used With Permission

  1. Know you can survive. You may not think so, but you can.

  2. Struggle with why it happened until you no longer need to know why, or until you are satisfied with partial answers.

  3. Know you may feel overwhelmed by the intensity of your feelings but all your feelings are normal.

  4. Anger, guilt, confusion, forgetfulness are common responses. You are not crazy, — you are in mourning.

  5. Be aware you may feel appropriate anger at the person, at the world, at God, at yourself.

  6. You may feel guilty for what you think you did or did not do.

  7. Having suicidal thoughts is common. It does not mean that you will act on those thoughts.

  8. Remember to take one day at a time.

  9. Find a good listener with whom to share. Call someone.

  10. Don't be afraid to cry. Tears are healing.

  11. Give yourself time to heal.

  12. Remember, the choice was not yours. No one is the sole influence in another's life.

  13. Expect setbacks. Don't panic if emotions return like a tidal wave. You may only be experiencing a remnant of grief.

  14. Try to put off major decisions.

  15. Give yourself permission to get professional help.

  16. Be aware of the pain of your family and friends.

  17. Be patient with yourself and with others.

  18. Set your own limits and learn to say no.

  19. Steer clear of people who want to tell you what or how to feel.

  20. Know that there are support groups that can be helpful, such as The Compassionate Friends or Survivors of Suicide Groups. If not, ask a professional to help start one.

  21. Call on your personal faith to help you through.

  22. It is common to experience physical reactions to your grief, i.e. — headaches, loss of appetite, inability to sleep, etc.

  23. The willingness to laugh with others and at yourself is healing.

  24. Wear out your questions, anger, guilt, or other feelings until you can let them go.

  25. Know that you will never be the same again, but you can survive and go beyond just surviving....

For a printable version of "Beyond Surviving",
click here: Print Version


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Site Directory
Home Page Nevada Support Groups To The Newly Bereaved Suggested Reading
Dealing With Grief Stress Survival Surviving & Coping Facts Of Life After A Death
Helping Children Struggles & Victories Beyond Surviving Surviving The Holidays
Links to Other SOS Sites Press Releases


Reflections Of This Survivor
The Glass Door An Unplanned Trip Unanswered Questions
The Forgiveness Road Basic Plan For Survival Picking Up The Pieces
It's A God Thing Anniversaries Anguish to Activism

Reflections Of Other Survivors
Against the Odds:
A Widow's Perspective		 Left Behind:
A Daughter's View		 Healing Poetry:
A Daughter Writes To Her Father



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